A Day at the Confessional
by Strawberriee
Summary: Yay. An update. Chapter 3 was added. Please read and review.
1. Suggestions

_**A Day at the Confessional  
by Strawberriee**_

¤ ¤ ¤

Chapter One:  
Suggestions 

It was one beautiful morning on the Violet Farm. But never as beautiful for Jack. 

Jack: I am so BORED. 

Koro: You're always so damned bored. 

Jack: No kidding. 

Koro: Hey it's Wednesday right? 

Jack: So? 

Koro: Well the confessional is open at one. Go confess something. 

Jack: Ha! Confess! Do you know how boring Carter is?! 

Koro: He works in a church. He is a worshiper for God. He is supposed to be boring. 

Jack: Whatever. Let's eat breakfast. 

Koro: We never have any breakfast, why start now? 

Jack: You shouldn't judge my cooking. 

Koro: You cook worse than Karen. 

Jack: Why do you have to bring her into this? 

Koro: I don't understand why you like her so much. She is MARRIED, hello? 

Jack: To my worst enemy: Rick, the perverted son-of-a-male-prostitute. Did you know he   
plays with himself? 

Koro: No kidding. He was caught by Harris because he was stripping Lilia on the road. 

Jack: Are you serious? Lilia isn't cute! She's retarded! 

Koro: Yup yup yup. Well, let's sit here playing Nintendo while we wait for the confessional to open. 

A few hours later, we see Jack and Koro playing Road Rash. 

Koro: Shit! Stupid car! 

Jack: Haha! I beat you! 

Koro: No way! That car ran over me! And why are you always playing as that girl? 

Jack: She's HOT. 

Koro: Oh look it's one o clock. Tell me about it when you come home. 

Jack: Alright. 

To be continued. 

A/N: Tell me what you think of it! Any suggestions? Flames, comments, questions? Please send them in a review. And I will not continue until I get a few reviews telling me to do so. Well anyways, thanks and please read and review! 


	2. Asking Carter

_**A Day at the Confessional  
by Strawberriee**_

¤ ¤ ¤

Chapter Two:   
Asking Carter

We now see Jack skipping his way to the church. 

Cliff: Why you so happy? 

Jack: I'm following the red brick road to the confessional. 

Cliff: Confessional? I didn't know you were into that crud. 

Jack: Now I am. I have things to talk about. (Continues to skip) 

Finally Jack reaches the church. He barges in then opens the door to the confessional. 

Mystery Voice: Hello, Jack. Never see you around here.. (Laughs evilly) 

Jack: Shut up Carter I know it is you. 

Carter: So you have anything to confess? 

Jack: Lotsa stuff. In fact it'll take hours to finish. 

Carter: Cool. Nobody, besides Mary, ever comes here anymore. 

Jack: Well here's a ¢25 tip. 

Carter: Thanks.. a lot.. 

Jack: First let's talk about you. 

Carter: Hey, who's the boss? 

Jack: Me. Now, do you belong to the famous Carter family? 

Carter: Carter is not my last name. It is my first. 

Jack: Liar! Liar! I object! 

Carter: This is not court you shitface. 

Jack: Oh yeah. Well do you? Is Aaron and Nick Carter your brothers, and Leslie Carter   
your sister? 

Carter: No! Carter is my first name! I'm from the Keller family! 

Jack: Carter Keller? Sounds funny. How do you feel about Helen Keller being your   
deaf and blind mother? 

Carter: She was my great-great-grandma. 

Jack: Oh really, and I work for Kelloggs. 

Carter: Really?! 

Jack: Oh shut the hell up. 

Carter: I am the one who is supposed to ask you questions. 

Jack: Me first. I am much younger than you, and therefore handsome. 

Carter: Alright.. 

Jack: Have you ever had any diseases? 

Carter: Yup. AIDS, rabies, flesh eating disease.. 

Jack: You're a cannibal? 

Carter: Not that kind of flesh! I mean from a cow! 

Jack: ... so you're a cannibal. 

Carter: No! I mean cooked cow! Steak! 

Jack: How did you survive from AIDS? 

Carter: I drank wine, snorted tobacco, and kicked my ass. 

Jack: That should go out to all the poor and helpless people out there with AIDS. 

A/N: Do not try this. 

Carter: Yup yup yup. 

Jack: But how did you get it? 

Carter: Needles. Tatoos. Sex. All the pretty things that vex. 

Jack: Shut the hell up before I whip you upside the head with my belt. 

Carter: Oh my god! What smells? 

Jack: Your rabies. (Pause) Ew, Carter! Did you.. 

Carter: NO! 

Jack: Lol. It is fun to tease you. 

Carter: I have to take a dump.

A/N: Just imagine as if it were happening in BTN. And make sure you're also imagining  
Jack talks. 


	3. Meanwhile

_**A Day at the Confessional  
by Strawberriee**_

¤ ¤ ¤

Chapter Three:  
Meanwhile

Meanwhile during Jack's confession, there was another argument going on with   
Rick and Karen.

Karen: Oh I hate you Rick!

Rick: Just because I cheated on you doesn't mean you can hate me. 

Mary: C'mon, Karen, all he did was get in bed and screw me.

Karen: He's supposed to do that to me! 

Suddenly Mary doubles over and hurls on Karen's shoe. 

Karen: Ew! Who the hell do you think you are? 

Popuri: What the bitch is going on here?

Karen: Rick, who is married to me, cheated me and screwed Mary in bed! 

Rick: Popuri, please don't tell mom.. 

Popuri: You backstabber! Karen, are you alright? 

Karen: (Bursting into tears) Yes. Oh Popuri! 

Popuri: I hate you Rick! You are so ungrateful! Freaking asshole. 

Karen: I loved Rick! But now look what's going on!

Rick: I am sorry.

Karen: Sorry doesn't do. You go out and marry Mary. We are over. 

Popuri: (Patting Karen) There's your divorce, Rick. Happy? 

Mary: Screw this chat, let's go crap on eachother in the hot spa. 

Rick: Mary, marry me. 

Mary: I will! (Hurls)

Rick: I think you have a fever. 

Mary: (Slaps Rick on the ass) Looks like you got it going there. 

Rick: Oh god. 

Popuri: Bastard! 

Gray: Mary what's ... 

Mary: It's over with. Bye Gray. (Shoots Gray with .44 magnum) Karen: Both y'alls are assholes! Let's go Popuri. 

One hour later. 

Mary: I don't feel good. 

Rick: Let's go to the clinic. 

We now see Rick and Mary at the clinic. 

Doctor: Let's check you. 

Mary: Dammit. Is it hemorroids? 

Doctor: Hmm.. temp okay.

Rick: Is anything wrong? Does she have the flu? AIDS? Rabies.. 

Doctor: Nope, she's pregnant.


End file.
